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Piercers

Angie

It was a cold night when I was born, that's how they knew. They all knew that I was going to become something great. From a very young age it was apparent that I was 'different' from the other kids. Not different visually, goodness no, but there was something there. It frightened some, which I didn't understand in my youth, it inspired others. Only problem was, none of us knew what it was. It would be years before even I would know.

When I was 16 years old, I was walking home from school, when a wizard approached me. He told me to be careful, because what was inside me could reduce any man to nothing. He told me to use it always for good, and to never be consumed by darkness. If only I had listened to him. I thought it odd at the time that, well...number one there was a wizard in Chicago, and number two, that he didn't grant me a wish, or something. What a jerk! Anyway, it was shortly there after that I would discover what my true power was.

A few years went by, and one day I was at the mall, all I wanted was an orange julius. When I went into the store, they told me they were all out.......and that's when it happened. A fire burned so hot, so deep inside of me, I was so angry, that fire shot out of my mouth, basically burning the poor kid working to a crisp. I damn near shit myself. This wasn't my only power. I soon found I could shoot fire from every orifice on my body. So, naturally I did what everyone would do when they found this out...I used it for evil.....and wrestling.

I joined the WWE when I was only 21 years old. The first female ever to do so. They laughed when I auditioned. "You're 5' tall and 89 pounds...what makes you think that you can beat these very large, grown men?" they asked me.

"Well," I said...."just watch this."

They sent in some idiot to fight me...I let him get a few punches in, then I lit him up. The folks at WWE all looked at each other in amazement. "What will we call her?" They asked each other. Only I knew the answer, and I had known it all along.

"From here on out, I shall be known as 'The Puerto Rican Fury'.

I wrestled professionally for about 35 years. Maybe you've seen me...or maybe you haven't. If I could describe my career in 3 words they would be triumphant and burny. I had a great time with the WWE, and now I'm just trying to enjoy my retirement....so why don't all you assholes just leave me alone already?

THE END